My soul brother

The highest level of ability is knowing the rules so well that you can choose when and how to break them all.

This is my relationship with grammar.

I spent 10 days in the countryside again, somewhere where absolutely everybody has a dog and absolutely everybody avoids you and never says hello. A perfect place, in a way, happiness-wise. You don't really see anybody, you just hear dogs barking in the distance. No internet, except for the very slow and primitive internet connection on my primitive cellphone. A television that I never turn on, so it's virtually like it isn't even there. Lots of birds, food in the fridge. (The birds are not in the fridge.) Freedom from everybody else's feelings. I'd like to find a way to balance this kind of freedom with the more challenging areas of life that involve other people.

To be able to sometimes take a break from humanity and be an island, but also to have the guts to go back.



He’s so cute that I would enjoy watching this even if I didn’t understand a word he was saying. He probably didn’t find himself cute at all. Cute people rarely find themselves cute, they focus on their awkwardness. People who do find themselves cute tend to be fucking annoying. But I'll admit that even annoying people can be cute sometimes.

I have a tendency to think that the male humans I like are cute. What does that say about me?

Nothing bad, I suppose.

Why hate when you can love. Why focus on disliking when you can like. Right now I’m slightly drunk, so all of this is very messy and childish, but let me just say this.

I know that you are frustrated and disappointed. I feel that way too, every day.

You are probably like me, utterly and absolutely ridiculous, in your own special and mysterious way. You suffer as you try to stop being things you can't stop being. You try anyway. But every now and then you realize that it’s actually not so terrible after all to be utterly and absolutely ridiculous.

I feel bad, sad and scared almost every day, but almost every day there are moments when I feel the magic in this stuff, this existence thing, this existing instead of not existing, and those are the moments when I realize how free I actually am. I thought I wasn’t, but I am free, always was free, always could be. I want you to feel it too.

It feels like this song:

 
You are alive. Just a little tired.