I stayed up all night again. I know that this sounds horrible, but I can spend 16 hours reading scientific articles and thinking about what I'm reading.

The sadness and anger must turn into something, some force, a power that I can use to turn the tide. Maybe it will be completely futile. There are millions of people trying to keep the water flowing. They're making money out of the flood. How can you stand up against money? I will try. If I fail horribly, then look at what I did, and call it poetry or something nice like that.

I heard music from the other room. I opened my door slightly and saw my sister looking out the window and combing her hair and listening to Jeff Buckley. I realized how much she means to me. I never tell her, because she knows anyway.

I'm too lazy to explain. Sometimes I think that amidst all the darkness, my sister is the bravest person I know. She has always been. I've never met anyone else like her. And she's my sister.